Rebel With A Cause? Madonna's Rebel Heart

The problem with making a career out of pushing boundaries is that eventually you run out of battles to fight. After thirty years at the top of the ephemeral world of pop music, Madonna has reached a crucial moment in her career. Can she still, at age 56, be relevant and cutting edge in a genre that has always been obsessed with youth? After redefining the potential for a female artist to control and exploit her own body image, what is left for her to say that the young upstarts after her crown cannot better articulate? Put simply, does Madonna still matter?

I am not really interested in engaging with the borderline misogyny and outright ageism that surrounds discussions about what Madonna wears, or how she is photographed. My suspicion is that with hindsight we will see that once again she is a pioneer, extending the limits of the age when women can flaunt their sexuality, celebrate their beauty and their liberation without the automatic disdain of a crumbling patriarchy.

What I am interested in though, is the music. Madonna did not become the best-selling female recording artist of all time because she looks good in a basque; she achieved this by consistently creating thrilling and innovative pop songs. As she prepares to officially unleash her thirteenth studio album, Rebel Heart, I believe the only answer that matters regarding Madonna's continued relevance is this: is the music any good?

Despite the official release date still being a week away, like most of the world I have already heard Rebel Heart. Madonna was devastated when demos of many of the tracks from the album were leaked on to the Internet and this was followed by further leaks of finished tracks. While she implored fans to wait and rush-released part of the album on iTunes, I'm sure I'm not alone in finding the temptation too much to bear. I have bought the album legally as well, so my conscience is clear. I have been living with the album now for a few weeks and feel ready to give a verdict. 

This album has a vision. While on tour promoting her last album, Madonna witnessed first hand how the right to freedom of expression is under threat in many parts of the world. It led her to start the Art For Freedom project, a "global initiative encouraging creative expression that brings awareness to human rights violations", and Rebel Heart is borne out of that concept and her belief that:

"I have no choice. At this point, there’s no turning back. This is my role in the world, 

my work as an artist. I have a voice and I have to use it."

Listening to Rebel Heart it soon becomes clear that this is no legacy artist trying to recapture old glories; this is vibrant, of-the-moment pop music. Something of the light, power and, well, pure sex of Madonna in her prime has been rekindled by her need to express herself and it has similarly rekindled my love for her. After a couple of albums that felt like she was chasing the pack rather than leading it, Rebel Heart is more hook-filled than Taylor, more raunchy than Beyoncé and more creative than Gaga. This is an album that has been toiled over, crafted, loved: no wonder she was heartbroken to have the big reveal stolen.

Each track has something interesting to say, but my highlights are:

Living For Love would crown any Madonna album in any era, a true dance anthem that sounds instantly familiar yet fresh and current. It's not over-complicated or trying to be too clever, it just demands you to get on your feet, throw those hands in the air and boogie (or whatever the kids call it these days).

Madonna's work has often been autobiographical and she loves to sing about herself, but Unapologetic Bitch has to be the ultimate summation of her world view. Although it's superficially a brush off to an ex, anyone who's even remotely aware of the pop culture of the last thirty years can't help but see some truth to the sentiment in the lyrics. But better than all of that, it is so damn catchy! It should be a single, if we can all grow up and get over Madonna's re-appropriation of the b-word.

I've always thought Madonna is underrated as a songwriter and believe she is responsible for some of the most beautiful ballads to grace the charts. There are two such on Rebel Heart that rank among her finest compositions. Ghosttown pairs a pretty melody with an apocalyptic lyric that finds two lovers as the last people standing as the world collapses. The chorus has an immediate hook and a quiet power. It is a message of hope, that love will conquer all.

Joan Of Arc is my standout track, it has a simple beauty that can only come from a truly brilliant and clever piece of songwriting. It takes the symbol of strong womanhood and subverts it, allowing us to glimpse something vulnerable and beautiful and true. This is not about being a victim, it's about the reality that all of us occasionally just need to be held and loved, to know that there is a safe place from where we can rebuild.

Of course there is a song about her vagina and a couple of tracks where the inspiration can't quite match the execution, but overall this is the strongest set of songs Madonna has served up since Ray Of Light. And I haven't even touched on the ten or so bonus tracks that will fill up various deluxe editions, many of which could easily stand proud on the album proper. Except Auto-Tune Baby, which is as terrible as it sounds.

So to answer my own question, does Madonna matter in 2015? On the only criterion that matters, the music, then the answer is a resounding "hell, yes". By finding a purpose to continue to create music, Madonna has rediscovered the creative energy that has always made her a revolutionary force in pop. It's been a while, but I'm once again living for Madonna.



Rebel Heart is (officially) released on 6 March in the US, 9 March in the UK, international release dates may vary. Visit madonna.com for more information.

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Divas Are Forever! The Other Bond Girls

Last weekend Skyfall had the best opening weekend ever for a James Bond movie, frustratingly here in the US we have another week to wait before we can once more wallow in the glamour, action and excitement that is synonymous with Bond. Similarly intertwined with this longest running of all film franchises is the music that has become as much a symbol of Bond as martinis, gadgets and girls. My love affair with Bond goes back to childhood and it has as much to do with the songs as it does with the movies. Like many impressionable young gays, something was shaken, if not stirred when I first head Shirley Bassey utter the immortal word "Goldfinger".

Like the movies themselves, the music of Bond has had its ups and downs, with some themes becoming iconic while others have been, well, moronic. Although boys are sometimes allowed to sing for Bond, it is only when the divas are unleashed that true magic is made (with honourable mentions for Simon Le Bon and Morten Harket). In this 50th anniversary year and with Adele returning the Bond theme to glory it seems right to celebrate the many female artists that have performed for Queen and country: here then is my countdown of the best and worst of the Bond divas.

21 - Under The Mango Tree: Diana Coupland (Dr. No, 1962)

Think you know who the first woman to sing a Bond theme was? Then think again. It was in fact Sid James' TV wife from the 70's British sitcom Bless This House, the lovely Diana Coupland. She happened to be married to Monty Norman, the composer who created the iconic James Bond Theme and oversaw the score for the first Bond movie, Dr. No. Ms Coupland had a sideline going of dubbing the singing voices for actresses who were vocally challenged and so it is her, not Ursula Andress who is trilling this lovely little number on the beach. Uncredited at the time, I am happy to rectify this and let Diana take her place in posterity.

20 - Another Way To Die: Jack Black & Alicia Keys (Quantum Of Solace, 2008)

Admittedly this is only half diva, but for completeness' sake I have to include it. It is understandable that with a lot to prove the first two Bond movies with Daniel Craig were serious affairs, but I'm glad that the warmth and humour that are intrinsic to Bond make a reappearance in Skyfall. Sadly this serious air carried over to the themes for Casino Royale and Quantum Of Solace. This was meant to be Amy Winehouse's Bond theme, but in a sign of the tragedy to come she just couldn't get it together in time. In light of that it is hard not to feel shortchanged by this rather weak effort. This is the first Bond theme to be rapped rather than sung. For me, this just doesn't work. Every time I hear it, it feels like the first time - it's that forgettable. It's truly tedious and charisma free. Maybe in twenty years time Alicia will get a proper go at a big Bond ballad, once she's no longer so worried about being hip (do the kids still use that word?).

19 - If There Was A Man/Where Has Everybody Gone?: The Pretenders (The Living Daylights, 1987)

Although they lost out to a-ha for the title theme, Chrissie and co did get to contribute two songs for Timothy Dalton's debut as Bond. If There Was A Man is a simple ballad, that marked the first time a different theme was used for the end credits. It never quite gets going, though Chrissie sings it with feeling. This contrasts with the wacky Where Has Everybody Gone? which features briefly in the movie. It sounds like Chrissie was having a mental breakdown and someone left the tape recorder running. It has a certain quirky charm, but overall these efforts are a bit of disappointment; Chrissie has the chops to be a major Bond diva, but not with material like this.

18 Tomorrow Never Dies: Sheryl Crow (Tomorrow Never Dies, 1997)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Where to begin? It is hard to believe that new Bond music producer David Arnold held a competitive process for the honour of providing the main theme for Pierce Brosnan's second outing as MI6's finest. Were the efforts by Saint Etienne, Pulp, Marc Almond and others worse than this? We know there was one song that was perfect for the job (of which more later), but nonetheless this monstrosity won the day. Sheryl Crow is a fine artist, I'm partial to a great deal of her music, but on this evidence she is not a great vocalist. This is hardly the most rigorous Bond theme to sing, yet Sheryl barely staggers through the high notes; it is painful. The song is also really boring, even Dame Shirley would have struggled to breathe life into this one. For shame.

17 Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown?: Nina (On Her Majesty's Secret Service, 1969)

Poor George Lazenby, he wasn't all that bad. Oh, and Dame Diana Rigg as a Bond girl (swoon). This festive number is a slightly bizarre entry in the Bond canon, but charming in its own way. A collaboration of Bond maestro John Barry, the man responsible for making music central to the Bond movies, and the legendary lyricist Hal David. You will know their other collaboration from the movie, We Have All The Time In The World, made famous of course by the great Louis Armstrong in his final recording. European folk singer Nina is joined by a chorus of children (don't run screaming just yet) and at first listen it can feel a tad cloying, but once you allow yourself to embrace it as high camp, what's not to love? It also has a great lyric that captures the essence of a good sing-a-long Christmas anthem. Oddest Bond song for sure.

16 Moonraker: Shirley Bassey (Moonraker, 1979)

Without question John Barry is responsible for creating a whole genre of music with his soundtracks for Bond, but in the public imagination there is one singer who both defines and is defined by her Bond themes; Dame Shirley Bassey. However this effort, her fourth (yes fourth, you'll see) and final to date is far from her best, but that is hardly her fault. Legend has it that this was offered first to Kate Bush who turned it down because she was "too busy". In reality she probably fell asleep while listening to the demo and was too embarrassed to admit it, so passed. Then Johnny Mathis landed the job and recording commenced, only for him to drop out unexpectedly before completion. The trouper she is. Shirley stepped in just weeks before the movie was set to premiere, no doubt as a favour to Barry. La Bassey never held much affection for the track, feeling it didn't really belong to her. Not a bad song, but not a classic and a waste of a good Shirl.

15 All Time High: Rita Coolidge (Octopussy, 1983)

In a fever dream I once imagined a song called Octopussy sung by a sequined Donna Summer. It had the appropriate amounts of brass, belting and bravissimo and Donna was straddling a disco ball while Bond girls danced beneath her. Sadly it was but a dream and instead we have this slab of MOR. It's perfectly pleasant and beautifully sung by Rita Coolidge, but it is not a Bond theme in my book. There is no drama, no tension. Oh well. At least we have the 80s-tastic single sleeve to bring a smile to our lips.

14 Die Another Day: Madonna (Die Another Day, 2002)

I have a love/hate relationship with this one. There are bits that are magic, cool and edgy and Bondish, but there is also much that is lazy and unintentionally hilarious ("Sigmund Freud... analyze this", for example, and those peculiar grunts). It does feel like Madge knocked it off on her tea break, she was probably more focused on doing some proper acting in her rather forced cameo appearance in the movie. Imagine my excitement when I heard Madonna was doing the Bond theme, then picture my face when I heard it. Undoubtedly the biggest letdown in Madonna's career and yes, I'm including Swept Away.

13 For Your Eyes Only: Sheena Easton (For Your Eyes Only, 1981)

Having originally offered Blondie the chance to write the theme song, the producers eventually went with this song by the film's composer, Bill Conti. It is a little bland for my liking, though Sheena Easton sings it like her life depended on it. She also has the honour of being the only artist to perform her song in the title credits. There are some nice musical flourishes here and there, but the song never quite achieves lift off. Still Sheena doesn't grunt in it, so it slips ahead of Madonna in this countdown.

12 If You Asked Me To: Patti LaBelle (Licence To Kill, 1989)

I have a soft spot for Timothy Dalton's Bond, I know he's not many people's favourite, but I thought he nailed the part. This gem is from the end credits of his second and sadly final outing, Licence To Kill. First it is written by the divine Diane Warren, who seems to channel her inner Bond girl in the plaintive lyric, vainly hoping for a future with Mr Bond. Second, it is sung to perfection by the uniquely gifted Patti LaBelle, who showcases her singular charms throughout. It is a travesty that this did not become a huge international hit for Patti, although you can't blame Celine Dion for stealing it a few years later. For me though this will forever be Patti's song. This was the great Michael Kamen's only Bond soundtrack and with this and the title song he ensured it became one of the most memorable.

11 Mr. Kiss Bang Bang: Shirley Bassey/Dionne Warwick (Thunderball, 1965)

After the enormous success of Goldfinger it was inevitable that Bond's producers would want to repeat that formula for their next outing and that included trying to mirror the iconic title track. The original theme for Thunderball was the amusingly titled Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which was a phrase coined by an Italian journalist when describing the character of Bond. John Barry pretty much copied the template of Goldfinger, from the brassy intro to the dramatic crescendos, but this time the song lauds the hero rather than the villain. The song was originally recorded by Shirley Bassey, who gives a highly stylised performance, lacking the finesse of her prior turn. Barry was clearly unhappy with the results and so asked Dionne Warwick to take a turn. Dionne sings it straighter, giving it a more pop feel, the arrangement is also more sophisticated on this version. All of this effort was in vain though, as United Artists asked for the song to be replaced, as they felt the theme really should include the film title. Barry was not impressed, he'd deliberately avoided writing a song called Thunderball, thinking the term too vague for a successful lyric. All of which explains why Tom Jones' ultimate theme for the movie seems a little weak, as it was both written and recorded in a rush. Such a shame that this vintage piece of Bond music never made it to the final cut, though the melody recurs throughout the score. It is also regretful that both Shirley and Dionne's recordings did not see the light of day for nearly three decades. However, we have them now and so we can wallow in the wonderfully cheesy lyrics and dream of what might have been.

10 The World Is Not Enough: Garbage (The World Is Not Enough, 1999)

Bond's other Shirley, the delightful Miss Manson and her band Garbage gave a perfectly chilling performance on this slice of classic Bond. This could not be anything but a James Bond theme, the lyrics are erudite, the melody is suspenseful and the production is flawless. After the misfire with Tomorrow Never Dies David Arnold, who after John Barry is Bond's most natural composer, redeemed himself with this effort. This also has to be the best music video made to accompany a Bond theme, with Shirley being replaced by a deadly android, it is like a mini-movie in its own right.

9 The Man With The Golden Gun: Lulu (The Man With The Golden Gun, 1974)

While Bond themes are synonymous with sophistication and suspense they are also, at their best, ever so slightly camp. That is apart from this cracker from Lulu, which is top-to-bottom camp. In fact it's hard to believe this is from a real Bond movie and not some spoof, as the lyrical innuendos have rarely been this upfront. From the opening "He's got a powerful weapon" to the incredible bridge "his eye may be on you or me, who will he bang? We will see..." Lulu delivers it with gusto, proving she has one of the most powerful voices ever to come out of a white woman. It probably ties Goldfinger for establishing the idea of Bond themes as high camp and it is a cheeky little minx, much like its singer.

8 Surrender: k.d. lang (Tomorrow Never Dies, 1997)

Imagine a world where this was the title theme for Tomorrow Never Dies, that world would have no war, endless summer and donuts would be calorie free. Sadly we live in this world and Sheryl Crow's travesty was picked over this gem. k.d. is one of the finest vocalists that has ever lived and on this she proves that she was born to sing Bond. If you left the cinema when the end credits started and you've never heard this luxurious, fabulous song in all its glory then you are missing one of the true delights of the Bond canon.

7 GoldenEye: Tina Turner (GoldenEye, 1995)

You might find it hard to believe this is effectively a U2 song, composed by Bono and The Edge. It is a perfect pastiche of a Bond theme and I mean that affectionately, as it is clearly written with a great deal of love and affection for Bond music. Launching a new actor as Bond is always a tense affair and it is important that the producers give them every chance to succeed. I believe this loving recreation of a classic Bond theme was the perfect scene-setter for my personal favourite Bond, the delicious Pierce Brosnan, who was the first since Connery to successfully encapsulate all aspects of Bond's persona. It also has one of the greatest vocals of any Bond theme, Tina is triumphant, especially at the crescendo where her voice does something quite remarkable with the word "GoldenEye".

6 You Only Live Twice: Nancy Sinatra (You Only Live Twice, 1967)

With the movie's Japanese setting, John Barry sought to include eastern motifs in the themes for this outing, creating a unique sound for this memorable Bond classic. An initial theme to be sung by Julie Rogers was abandoned and the very trendy Nancy Sinatra was co-opted instead to sing a new song. While many Bond themes become timeless, this one for me will always summon up images of the sixties; a decade that was cool, swirly and wore kinky boots. With the most gorgeous refrain of any Bond song, it has been sampled a number of times,including most memorably on Robbie Williams' Millennium. Nancy does a commendable job of singing within herself, despite her reported nerves and twenty-five takes. She also recorded a pop version of the song, which reached number 11 in the UK charts and made the Billboard top fifty.

5 Skyfall: Adele (Skyfall, 2012)

I was beginning to worry about the future of the Bond theme after the last few troubling attempts at making them "cool". Thank Fleming that the producers have finally seen sense and gone back to basics for the latest movie: a strong song with all the required elements sung by a great singer. They don't come much greater right now than Adele, with her sterling performance on this track she has shown that there are even more layers to her majestic voice than we had yet heard. Adele and her songwriting partner Paul Epworth must have been channelling John Barry when they wrote it, the track could be from any of the last five decades, it is timeless and an instant classic. I almost wept in gratitude when I heard it: there is hope for the future of Bond music.

4 Goldfinger: Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger, 1964)

In many ways Bond began in 1964 when both the movie and the song Goldfinger solidified many of the elements that became icons of Bond. The third movie to be made, this time all the ingredients combined to create true magic and every Bond film since has been forced to live in its shadow. Written by John Barry with lyrics by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse, Newley recorded the song himself initially and his version was considered for the movie. Enter Shirley Bassey. the red hot pop diva at the time, who basically eats the song alive. The brassy elements were to tie in with the gold themes of the film, but they have become synonymous with Bond themes (well the good ones) ever since. Who can fail to be thrilled at that opening blast of brass, then seduced by the gentle echo? Shirley gave us shades of vamp, victim and victor in her defining performance. What more is there to say? Perfection.

3 Licence To Kill: Gladys Knight (Licence To Kill, 1989)

It's getting tough to separate them at this stage, each of the these songs have been my favourite Bond theme at some point, but few have I gone quite so mental over than this one. It unashamedly borrows the theme from Goldfinger, but in a way that makes it feel like it was written for this song. It is also the longest Bond theme, clocking in at 5 mins 15 secs, owing to the seemingly endless crescendos, each more spectacular than the last. Gladys nearly out-Basseys Shirl on this one, I can't think of when she gave a stronger vocal, proving she has the power to go along with one of the greatest emotional voices of all time. This may be a bit OTT for some tastes, but it never strays over the line into parody, it is how a Bond theme from the 1980s should sound. Superb.

2 Nobody Does It Better: Carly Simon (The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977)

From the tinkling piano intro to the full-blown orchestral fade this song is three and a half minutes of sheer perfection. Composed by the late, great Marvin Hamlisch and with lyrics by the supremely talented Carole Bayer Sager, few Bond songs have such a formidable pedigree. The first not to be named after the film (though the title appears in the lyrics), this song is also one of the few that have arguably outgrown their role as a Bond theme. It has gone on to be used on the soundtrack to numerous other movies and has been covered and performed endlessly. A large part of the credit must go to Carly Simon, who was a brave choice by the producers to sing such a big song. Carly was the seventies cool chick, but she was known as a singer-songwriter and had not yet proven herself as a formidable interpreter of song. She has never sounded sweeter than on the opening measures and when she unleashes on the first verse and roars towards the song's climax it is a marvel to behold.

1 Diamonds Are Forever: Shirley Bassey (Diamonds Are Forever, 1971)

Though Goldfinger may get most of the attention, most Bond fanatics agree that this second outing by Miss Bassey is the greater achievement. Sophisticated, witty, breathtaking - words that are synonymous with Bond perfectly describe this amazing theme. Shirley's vocal is indescribably great on this, the song gives her the chance to unleash all the weaponry in her arsenal, from gentle purrs to earth shattering highs. The lyrics are a masterclass of metaphor, it is the bitter cynical sister to Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend. It has my favourite line in any Bond song "men are mere mortals who are not worth going to your grave for" - delivered with an appropriate snarl by Shirley. Allegedly Barry urged Shirley to imagine she was singing about a penis, armed with that knowledge you can never quite listen to the song in the same way again. This is the pinnacle of Bond themes and it is hard to see how it could be bettered, but who knows what Adele's second Bond theme may provide...

I hope you've enjoyed this trip through the wonders of the lady Bond themes and maybe you have made a few new discoveries or at least been reacquainted with some old friends. One thing is certain, James Bond will return.

If you enjoyed reading this blog, please consider forwarding it or linking to it from your Facebook or Twitter account. You can post feedback below or to my Twitter account, @divasblogger. Sign up for alerts at divasblogger@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter. Also you can hear the tracks mentioned in this week's blog on my Spotify account at the following link: Divas Are Forever!

Fairground Stripper? Elton vs Madonna

Now I love a celebrity feud as much as the next man, but there's something distinctly unedifying about the latest attack in the long-running Elton John and Madonna stand-off. For history buffs, you may recall this goes back as far as November 2002 when Elton slammed Madonna's Bond theme for Die Another Day, calling it tuneless and "the worst Bond tune ever". Now I might have room for agreement there with Elton, but I'll save that for my inevitable Bond theme blog. What was strange was why he felt the need to weigh in while proclaiming himself a big Madonna fan, but then Elton has often considered himself one of music's leading critics. The next major spat came two years later at the Q Awards in London during Elton's acceptance speech for the Classic Songwriter Award. Again without apparent provocation he blasted Madonna's nomination in the Best Live Act category claiming she lip-synced her entire show and that "anyone who lip-syncs in public on stage when you pay £75 to see them should be shot". So no over-reaction there then. Madonna's spokesperson retaliated on her behalf, pointing out that "Madonna does not lip-sync nor does she spend her time trashing other artists. She sang every note of her Re-Invention tour live and is not ashamed that she was well paid for her hard work". Elton later backtracked a bit, but then seemed surprised that Madonna refused his invitation to perform at his bachelor party in 2005, prompting him to call her a "miserable cow".

The latest bad blood seems to stem from Madonna's triumph in the 2012 Golden Globe Awards, when her song Masterpiece from her film W.E. won over Elton's ditty from Gnomeo and Juliet. Elton's partner David Furnish took over the attack, claiming Madonna's win showed the awards had nothing to do with merit and calling her acceptance speech narcissistic. Furnish later kind of apologised, but Madonna again kept to the high ground, saying of Elton "he's been known to get mad at me, so I don't know. He's brilliant, and I adore him, so he'll win another award. I don't feel bad". That brings us to the latest bout, when in an Australian TV interview Elton again issued forth with this charming tirade when Madonna's name was mentioned, "she’s such a nightmare. Her career’s over...and she looks like a f***ing fairground stripper. She’s been so horrible to Gaga". The latter reference no doubt relating to Madonna's recent comments about the similarity between Lady Gaga's Born This Way and her own hit Express Yourself, a controversy I covered in an earlier blog [The New Queen Of Pop?]. Again Madonna has decided not to respond, leaving it to her fans to leap to her defence. Now far be it from me to get in between such a major catfight, but whatever the provocation behind Elton's attacks, there are a couple of his claims that I take issue with. So while not an official Madonna spokesperson, here is how I would respond to Elton's attacks.

"Madonna does not sing live"

I have been lucky enough to witness Madonna live many times and I have only missed two of her world tours. She is without doubt a brilliant live performer and she ensures her shows are chock full of visual delights, while also using the live arena as an opportunity to recreate many of her classic hits in surprising ways. Madonna expends Olympic levels of energy when performing and engages in complex and cutting edge dance routines that would tax any professional dancer. Let's face it, she pretty much invented the template for the stadium age of live pop shows and Kylie, Janet, Beyoncé and co. all follow in her wake. I'm pretty good at spotting a lip-sync, as a fan of vocalists I know when there is actual sound emanating from a mouth or when it's fakery. I have never detected Madonna miming in her live shows, in fact I am often in awe at her breath control and recovery that enables her to sing and dance the way she does, but then I guess that's what daily yoga and gym work gets you. Yes Elton, it is important for stars to sing live when an audience has paid for that experience and I daresay it's a lot easier to achieve sitting behind a piano than it is performing gymnastics on a studded leather S&M carousel horse, but somehow Madonna manages it.

"She looks like a fairground stripper"

Now I don't know what fairgrounds Elton hangs out at, but I've yet to encounter one that offers strippers. That aside we can assume that his issue is that Madonna, as a woman in her fifties, still wears stage outfits that are overtly sexual. Madonna has always used sexuality as a central theme in her work, that is neither new nor particularly surprising. What is unusual is that Madonna has managed to maintain a pop career for three decades and remain relevant and commercially successful, so she is now challenging cultural stereotypes of what a fifty-year old woman should look like. Determining what is attractive is a highly personal matter, but I take issue when Madonna is attacked on her looks and image purely based on chronology. While as a culture we like women to quietly disappear in middle age, Madonna is at the forefront of challenging the boundaries of what is permissible for women as they age. Can Elton seriously criticise Madonna's attire while simultaneously leaping to the defense of Lady Gaga? Why is it acceptable for Gaga to run around in her underwear, but Madonna is called a stripper when she dares to bare any flesh? The fact is that Madonna's stage outfits for her latest tour are not that provocative by her standards, but they are recognisably Madonna, an image and icon she has worked hard to establish. What should she perform in to make Elton happy? A smock? A nice woolly and an A-line skirt? Madonna has earned the right to wear what she damn well pleases and if Elton doesn't like it, he can always take a trip to the fairground instead.

"Her career is over"

This one doesn't really need much of a response. Madonna's latest album MDNA topped the charts in the US and the UK and many other countries. Her half-time show at this year's Super Bowl set a TV audience record, with 114 million tuning in. Madonna is using her current World Tour to raise awareness of a number of issues around freedom and equality, gaining headlines and attention to some of the most serious social concerns facing us as a human race. So Elton, what have you done for me lately?

I'm pleased Madonna has continued to maintain a dignified silence in the face of Elton's frequent taunts. As she said, she doesn't really need to attack fellow artists to get publicity. Perhaps one day Elton will be able to make the same claim.


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Barbra Did It First...

If there is a diva common denominator, an icon so legendary that every artist since has been influenced either consciously or subconsciously, then it has to be Barbra Joan Streisand. Even today's hippest R&B divas tread in Barbra's size 8 footsteps. The hippest pop princesses scramble to re-enact Bab's career highs and iconic looks. Don't believe me? Then let me give you just a few examples of where Barbra did it first...

Winning an Oscar with your debut film role in a musical

It's 2007 and American Idol loser and future WeightWatchers poster girl Jennifer Hudson is the breakout star of Dreamgirls, the movie based on the musical based on The Supremes (allegedly). Her standout performance as Effie White has made her the toast of the town. People are amazed at the maturity of her performance in this, her first motion picture and in awe of her show-stopping rendition of the first act closer And I Am Tellling You I'm Not Going. The industry throws awards at her, including the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Could anyone have ever been so stellar in her film debut...

Flashback to 1969 and Barbra has taken her Fanny Brice from Broadway to the silver screen in Funny Girl. Critics and fans alike are wowed that she so easily made the transition from leading lady to movie star and she literally stops the show with the first act closer Don't Rain On My Parade. Result: Oscar for Miss Streisand.

Being a fashion icon

Every outfit that a diva wears, every hairstyle and make-up choice is fully scrutinised and judged - no pressure! A true diva sets trends, creates new looks and leads the fashion pack. Leading fashion diva of the moment has to be the reigning queen of the urban scene, Miss Beyoncé Knowles - the noughties Diana Ross. Now Sasha Fierce is not overfond of clothing, preferring to show a little skin...

But wait.. haven't we seen that look somewhere before?

In fact Miss Knowles may not be the trendsetter she pretends to be... it seems she has found inspiration from La Streisand on a number of occasions...

I rest my case. Clearly Barbra was the first hip-hop fashion diva! And come on Beyoncé , Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) is just Cry Me A River updated a bit and with a better dance routine. And Babs doesn't need a drag persona, she's got half a million queens pretending to be her on a daily basis. Barbra 3 - Beyoncé 0.

Diva duets

Now there's nothing we diva fans love more than a megastar duet. Never mind how terrible the song is (and they often are), there's nothing more thrilling than seeing two huge voices (and egos) battling it out on one track. Sometimes it's a hot artist of the moment who seeks a bit of extra cred and status by persuading an established superstar to join them on a track, like when Britney Spears begged Madonna to take her tongue out from her mouth long enough to record a song. The result? A number one hit in Denmark, Ireland and Hungary - Me Against The Music.

But Britters is not the first red hot diva to persuade her elder and better to duet up. Where did that mirrorball come from? It's 1979, disco rules and the queen is Donna Summer. But wait, who's that frizzing up their afro and boogieing up to the mic? It's Babs! A duet Miss Summer? Why I'd love to. Hang on though, my new album is all water themed, so let's tack on this slow intro about rain and tears, change the title and then I'll do it. Oh, and make sure I get all the good notes.

If you've only heard the single version of No More Tears (Enough Is Enough), you're missing out. Check out the 8:24 mix on Barbra's Wet album, or better still the full 11:43 version on Donna's On The Radio: Greatest Hits Volumes I & II. Go on, you won't regret it.

Hanging out with the President

We've previously established that Lady Gaga likes to "borrow" ideas from other divas, but maybe it's not Madonna who's her major mentor. There's evidence another legendary native New Yorker has heavily influenced the career of this pop magpie.

Gaga is a famous campaigner (for which we love her) and she has taken her lobbying to the top, making a beeline for President Obama. He admitted to finding Gaga "a little intimidating" when they met. A pop diva making a grown President quake in their presence... now where I have I seen that before?

Oh yes, that's right. Didn't Babs meet JFK? It's May 1963 and La Streisand is singing for her supper at the White House and grabbing a cheeky autograph from the President for her mum. She may not have been campaigning that night, but she's probably the most famous Democrat woman after Hillary these days. Her first recording was Happy Days Are Here Again after all, the Democrat party theme song.

But grabbing on the mantle of political diva isn't the most shocking steal that Gaga's made from Babs. You know all this "little monster" business and the whole "paws up" thing that Gaga does with her fans...

Well where do you think she got that idea from!

Enough proof? I'm convinced I can find evidence that Babs has originated every idea any diva has ever had. Challenge me if you dare!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Barbra Streisand: she did it all first!



If you enjoyed reading this blog, please consider forwarding it or linking to it from your Facebook or Twitter account. Also you can hear the tracks mentioned in this week's blog on my Spotify account at the following link: Barbra Did It First.

The new Queen of Pop? Gaga vs Madonna

One is a pop music sensation, fashion icon, friend of the gays and polarising figure of controversy. The other is Lady Gaga. The parallels between Gaga and her admitted musical influence, Madonna, are manifold. Both of American-Italian heritage, both emerging from the New York club scene, both international pop culture icons, it is easy to look at Gaga and assume that here is the pretender to Madonna's throne as Queen of Pop. I, however, am not so sure that Gaga's destiny is to emulate Madonna's seemingly impossible feat of remaining relevant and hugely successful in the ephemeral world of pop for three decades. Are the similarities and parallels between the two proof enough that Gaga is here to stay, or will she end up as roadkill on pop's highway like so many before her? Is Lady Gaga on the Edge of Glory or is this just another Bad Romance?

Madonna may not have been the first woman to use her sexuality and persona to sell records, but she was the first to do it from a position of power and control. She redefined forever the image of women in music, from passive objects of (usually) male pleasure to active and, crucially, equal partners in the mating dance of pop. If you were turned on by Madonna it was because she had given you permission to enter her seduction and when she wanted it to stop, it would stop. But it was not just this show of erotic force that made Madonna a star, she also made era-defining pop music.

Two of her earliest singles forged iconic images of Madonna that still resonate in her career today. To announce that she was Like A Virgin seemed astonishingly bold back in 1984 and the iconic video took the two female paradigms of madonna/whore and smashed them together with such force that they no longer became a binary choice for women artists. Material Girl then followed and removed the remaining male power of financial control. Madonna acknowledges money is central to male/female relationships, but instead of the man using it to control her, she is the one that determines who her benefactor will be. The double whammy of these two touchstone singles created an iconic image for Madonna based around these dual concepts of sexual and financial independence, which still define her in the public's mind today.

Gaga is now at the same point in her career that Madonna was when her icon was forged. Two albums in and it is not as easy to pinpoint what Lady Gaga's iconic brand is. She instead has played the chameleon, changing her look constantly and creating multiple personas, while playing with different musical styles. While this demonstrates her undoubted creativity, it makes it difficult to know Gaga: feeling connected and committed to our icons is a critical element of career longevity.

There is also the danger of diminishing returns. If we know that Gaga will always be attempting to shock or titillate us, then that very expectation undermines her ability to do so. This constant barrage of looks and sounds has also led to accusations of piracy from other artists, most notably when her single Born This Way was seen as a direct copy of Madonna's Express Yourself. The two songs are incredibly similar, from the talky intro to the identikit chorus. Let's be kind and say it's homage, though Madonna when asked said she thought it was "reductive".

In some ways Lady Gaga is the perfect post-modern popstar: fragmentary and disposable. My fear is that the music she produces is not strong enough to support her career long term, once the 20 million Little Monsters tire of her tweets and click "unfollow". She has had some interesting singles and has a knack for a catchy motif, I couldn't get the chant from Bad Romance out of my head for weeks, but I find it impossible to recall an entire Lady Gaga song. You remember the ear worm elements, but the verses with their scant melodies tend to fade quickly. Gaga has undoubted musical talent, but for me her compositions lack staying power, they are in one ear and mostly out the other. She also has a very ordinary voice.

Madonna is not a great singer, but she is a recognisable one. She has made the most of her limited vocal ability, working extremely hard on her technique, but critically she has an interesting and unique voice. You can identify Madonna's voice almost instantly you hear it; Gaga, not so much. The uniqueness of a singer's voice is fundamentally important in securing long term success; if you sound like everyone else, then why should I listen to you?

Madonna is on the verge of releasing her twelfth studio album, MDNA, and through an inspired half-time show at this year's Super Bowl has reaffirmed her position at the top of pop's monarchy. Whether Lady Gaga reaches a similar career milestone will depend on whether she has the energy and creativity to sustain an image built on constant revolution. She might be better advised to take a tip from her mentor and create an iconic brand that explains to the public what she stands for and look to evolve it over time. Oh, and she should also remember that when the image fades, it's the music that's going to last.


If you enjoyed reading this blog, please consider forwarding it or linking to it from your Facebook or Twitter account. Also you can hear the tracks mentioned in this week's blog on my Spotify account at the following link: Queen of Pop?.